M is For Medium

I’ll share some honest insight and an important tidbit related to thoughts and body image, shortly.  But first.

Let me set the story up for you.  My son Thor told me about his Dad’s girlfriend when he was 7 years old.

At the time I’d been remarried for almost 3 years. However-

When your 7-year-old starts talking about his Dad’s girlfriend, one’s ears do tend to perk up.

So, I asked the usual questions as any responsible ex might do:
> What does she do?
> Is she nice?
> Do you like her?
> How old do you think she is?

His response: She has white hair and is small like you.

My son called ME small.

I consider myself recovered from my torturous, obsessive relationship with food, weight and body image.

I lost 25 pounds permanently 7 years ago.

Yet, still, I felt shocked that my son associates me as a “small” person.
Why?

Here’s the real answer that I’m none too happy to admit.
I am still coming to terms with the fact that I’m an M.

M for Medium.

I’m an M height, shoe size, bone structure and weight.

So, M makes perfect sense for me.

Yet.
I hoped my natural size would be an XS.

Here’s the real question.

Why do women feel like they have to be so small to truly, authentically, feel good?

To be clear, I’m happy, confident and I feel great in my own skin.
But there’s this lurking, faint wish in the back of my mind to be an XS.

Here’s the nugget today:

Even when you get to your natural weight, your size may not be the one you always dreamed of becoming.

Natural weight comes in all shapes and sizes.

The size and weight you are do not have a direct correlation to your worthiness.

Remember that.

Crystal